Dust
by pixiepirate
Summary: A distant memory forces Nitara Brit to take a plunge into the alternate world of Gaea where she must come to terms with the true beastial nature of man, allowing herself the chance to understand more of her own disrupted nature as well.


She had the dream again. Tera woke up, the sheets damp with sweat; she'd had the dream again.

It was still dark out as Nitara Brit moved to catch the time from her alarm clock; flashing 2:30 on an early Monday morning. The routine was the same, steady her breathing for three counts, go into the bathroom and splash water on her face, stare into the mirror and wonder if it was ever real. But something was different this time, one of the subtle changes she wouldn't have caught had it not been for the number of times she'd memorized the scenery in her sleep. His eyes were focusing on her. Tera's forearms shook as she forced them to grasp the marble sink, sweat dripping from her moistened hair. The water welcomed the salted remains as they puddled together in the sink before her; the faucet still dripping from the freshly turned valves. How long had it been? Back then she would have sworn it had been real, but now she knew better. Things like that, creatures like that, were proven to never have existed, and if they had, they'd long been underground and buried.

She tried tossing the thought away, fearing it would pervade the remainder of whatever sleep she could gather. Tera didn't need any more problems than she already had; lacking in her classes this semester was giving her enough trouble. But she knew the final outcome didn't matter, she'd still have her high grades, and she'd still be going to the same college everyone in her family had previously attended. So much for free choice. Checking herself in the mirror, Tera rubbed her forehead in frustration; there was only a small window of about three hours before she had to leave for swim practice. Why? Why on earth had she even bothered to join a team sport, or any school-sponsored event? Practices weren't a high priority on her "to do" list every week; but the water calmed her, it made Tera capable of dealing with the other students without becoming aggravated each time someone shoved against her in the halls.

The blankets were still warm and wrinkled from when she had strayed away to cleanse her mind of the images the previous sleep had issued to her. Her pillow was still damp from perspiring; she could practically smell the surprise and fear that lingered on the fabric. Tera sighed and abandoned any hope of catching up on the regular amount of sleep she was demanded to keep for the week. She had heard the new gym was open at all hours of the night, and their new pool was supposed to be one of the best. Calling the coach's office she left a message concerning her planned absence from practice that morning, she'd make it up after school. If she had doubled up on her swimming hours, there'd be no telling how worn she would be during class.

---

The heater was broken in her beat up auto, and a while back she hadn't cared much about spending the money to get it fixed. A blanket over her legs would do just fine for the twenty-minute ride it took to get to the gym, five blocks from the school, one from the park.

Tera signed in with the desk clerk, some guy in his mid-twenties working through college. He must've been there for a while if he had been that cheerful to see her stroll in from the misting rain. "Do you have a membership?"

She returned him with a bored stare, "No."

"Would you like to sign up for one?" He was trying too much to get someone tied to the earnings of the new building.

"No."

"Well, with the added benefits of your membership you can-"  
Tera walked away. Really, if she were ever to meet a telemarketer in real life she was sure he'd be something like that. She was faintly surprised the man didn't follow after her in protest of not finishing the conversation. New recruits, they never had any idea what to do.

Dressing rooms were empty at this time of night, so Tera had the option of any locker she wished. The floor hadn't had the chance to collect dirt corners or scummed tiles; the place almost smelled like a hospital it was so clean. She untied her track pants and slipped the faded "We live to swim..." tank from her shoulders before grabbing a towel. Stuffing her garbage in an anonymous locker, Tera tested the lock and stringed the key to her shoulder strap.

The pool was at her disposal, the only other occupants of the wing were a janitor over by the snack bar and a water fountain whirring steadily. Quiet calm was always walking in Tera's direction, not necessarily reaching her in every moment, but she was close to that security.

Cool water washed over her body as she dove smoothly into its clear surface. She'd find so much contentment if the laws of this earth could be broken, yet Tera knew too well those half-conceived ideas were essential to humanity's sanity. Tera arched her back and buoyed on the water, staring into the still starry morning. The skylights were high on the ceiling; the electric lights dimmed low to conserve the new energy storage. Time flowed by as smoothly and as easily as Tera echoing the water's ripples; it was like flying in a world of water. She wondered vaguely how humans could ever have lived without the dream of flight. Being willingly trapped between stages of physics, part solid and part gas was a feeling she'd never get over; one Tera never wanted to.

Her laps were steady and paced, alternating between butterflies, backstrokes, and freestyle. The waves she made were barely noticeable, exactly as they should be. Tera's limbs called for a break, and she satisfied that desire. Looking up at the large clock placed over the main service door, Tera shook her head lazily, she didn't believe she had been here for that long; ninety minutes had chosen to fly by and escape her. She rubbed her calves thoroughly soothing any pains or spasms that might interrupt her practice. Most of the early swimmers would start arriving at the later end of 5:30, an hour from now; time enough to work on her diving.

Climbing the ladder to the three-quarter diving board, she recalled her coach's voice, "Ok Brit, keep the entrance point clear in your mind. Relax, breathe, jump. The mechanics aren't your problem; it's your state of mind that's off." Terra kept her eyes closed, letting her toes feel for the edge of the board and visualizing the water beneath her. She had to become that water, she had to dissolve herself in mid-air bit by bit in order to descend into the molecules of a simple compound and become one with every atom and its particles. Easier said than done.

Negativity, that was what threw her off. Her feet were over her head, she wasn't aligned straight, and she had edged to the side when she finally hit the surface. To all others it would have seemed like an amazing feat, a spectacle worthy of applause. No, it was hardly that, and Brit knew she could do better, the perfectionist inside her demanded better.

Four dives later it had all become routine, nothing special about every single dive, nothing new; she kept to the common formula. She had six more to complete before taking a few extra laps, and Tera was in no way satisfied with her performance. Her quiet frustration only pushed her harder, leading into running along the board before finishing with a leap of faith for accuracy and precision. Eight. Nine. Ten, the end of all the calculating she had done over the past half hour. The water drained willingly from her hair, beading on her suit and running down her legs. "You don't believe in yourself..."

Tera blinked back to awareness of her position, she was tense all over; not sure if the beads trailing down her body were water or sweat. She hadn't spoken those words, nor had she thought them, but the grainy voice was with age, and comforting to hear, even if for that small window of a second when it uttered such a depressing idea. Shaking her head, Tera returned her concentration back to her final dive. Ten, get it over with and get ready for school. Bound to the end, leap, and free-fall until the water hits.

Even after it had ended and Tera was drying her hair with a towel, she still new she hadn't aced the dive. Her excuses were heavily biased toward her lack of sleep and needing a stress free environment. Not that excuses or reasons mattered very much at this time of day. She slipped her feather bracelet over her wrist and stroked the soft ornament; it had grown grey with age, but still held wonder for her.

Discarding the locker key and gathering up her belongings, Tera headed for the parking lot, toward school, and a practice she wasn't too inclined to enjoy.

…

Listening to the message on her phone, Tera stopped midway to the side entrance of the gym. He wouldn't go for it, Coach wanted her at practice and she was to give no excuses this time.

Tera was already fifteen minutes late when she had climbed into her wet suit and managed to get to the pool. In her mind this was a misunderstanding, but to Coach Blake, she guessed he had torture in store for her and anyone else who trailed in later than usual. Her hour of practice had been cut short, but the work pulled out of Tera was enough to make up for that time she had supposedly lost.  
...

The halls seemed more suffocating than usual from the beginning of first block; today was going to be unpleasantly long. Everyone was venturing through the well-learned jungle known as building 3A, doing their best to avoid any and all collisions with other students; though the wet floors did little to help even the most nimble of the student population. The weather had been weakening since she had stepped out of her car in school parking, and Tera guessed it wouldn't be getting any better the rest of the week. Forecasts had predicted rain and storms for six straight days.

Early hours had taken their toll on Tera's mind and body. The empty energy bar wrap in her pack had housed little more than a brief sugar high. Already it had taken away any extra energy she could have had. Her movements were like a squid getting used to bones, simply not possible. Thankfully, Tera had somehow managed to find a chair in her next class and sank into it whole-heartily. Her Advanced Biology lecture was droning easily along in the back of her mind when her attention was pulled to the window. Lightning illuminated the dark sky, and the class welcomed the abrupt change in the electricity throughout the building.

"Ms. Brit take your seat."

The room was filled with a muffled high-tone pitch, and Tera's ears ringed with the sound.

"Please remove your hand from the window. Class has yet to be dismissed; until then you will find and keep your seat, while taking proper notations."

"Can they not hear the screams?" Tera's lips didn't move, but the words fell flat from her throat. She was trembling again, her knuckles white with the pressure forced from her nails onto the glass.

The second she heard the crack and pinch of the window beneath her fingers, Tera's eyes focused and came back to the reality of a cold floor and walls. Someone was gripping her, tightly, and they or another were shouting to her, calling out an unfamiliar name.

"Brit! Brit! ... Nitara!" Hesitation resounded in the voice. Tera's arms came down slowly and she eyed the scratches in the glass filled with nothing but exhaustion.

…

What had it been? The question wouldn't leave her thoughts. Tera was escorted to the hospital wing where the nurse was bustling about attempting to figure out why on earth Tera was even in the room to begin with. She rolled her eyes at the thin outline of the newly acquired nurse; probably fresh out of school too. Picking up her things Tera stood and walked out the door. There wasn't much point in staying there when nothing but exhaustion was ailing her. For once the halls were empty, silent and absent of thousands of disturbing people, the way she undoubtedly liked it best. With the satchel over her shoulder Tera walked through the passages, every now and then stealing a glance out the periodically placed windows at the dark sky. The lonesome sound of her soles wasn't exceptionally distracting, for all accounts her thoughts had been concentrated on the short event in her Bio class. All she remembered were the ungodly screams of some creature in its death throw and somehow the glass window ending up scratched due to her own nails. Tera suspected she could just plead temporary insanity on the fact that her coach was a lunatic, though she doubted that idea would fly very far with the attendance staff.

Tera didn't bother with going straight home after her early departure, really, what would that accomplish other than plodding about the house? She felt justified for a private drive in this inclement weather, the farther away the better, though as always, Tera ended up settling on the park. There weren't too many visitors today, what with the rain still falling from the sky. Most of the people she did happen to see were just passing through on a shortcut with their black umbrellas held low over the heads, coat collars turned up against the slight wind. Every other time she'd come to the park it had always been clear, Tera supposed today was one of those few occasions it would be called an exception. She was fine with that. Tera never did like keeping to the cemented pathways that wound every which way through the acreage of dismal greenery; she stepped off as soon as she'd walked a few well known paces and went along a familiar invisible trail toward the denser tree cover that would eventually open up on a body of water too large to be a pond but too small to be a lake. She stood for a moment, a couple yards away from the water's edge next to her favorite patch of hanging vines wrapped around a rather stolid and old tree. Her head turned in their direction recalling a far off memory. The flower buds on the twined vines showed little color, it still being early in the season for any type of finery. But there was a pair of brilliant fire blazed buds, rather large for the overall vine, and these drew her attention away from the dismal curtain of the weather. As Tera looked at them, she drank in their texture and depth, believing they were the most beautiful things she'd seen, with a broad cat's eye line striped down the center and fire flecking outward.

The need for a clear cut description kept surfacing and Tera found herself trying to compare these buds to anything and everything she could think of, and as she reached her hand out the image of a creature leapt to the forefront of her mind, and it was all too familiar. Not withdrawing her hand, Tera stepped back and took in the entire view for a time; those so-called buds were focused on her. Speech eluded her tongue, but whether it was fear or disbelief that held her legs steady Tera couldn't guess in the slightest.

"Can you remember youth?"

The same voice she'd heard before her diving that morning, ancient with the texture of warm gravel. Did that bulk behind those vines actually have a voice or was she merely hallucinating everything? The eyes never strayed from her own, she was held captive without any physical bonds, but it wasn't an anxious captivity as she had first expected. Still Tera felt a terrifying silence creep through her bones, a refusal of sorts to believe this wasn't all some dream she was having during a class exam. The creature's eyes sharpened intently, as if in reprimand, when the memory flooded her mind in a wave of flashes.

…

Yes, it had been brilliantly bright that day, the sun playing chase with the many clouds in the sky. Tera saw everything in an almost softened light, with a slowness that could only be quickened with a pace of a heart. The flowers on the vines had been in bloom, beautiful blues she couldn't help but occupy her childish hands with caressing. Her family had come for a picnic, with her being just a small child, curiosity as far in bloom as the flowers she so intently studied. Tera had run off without a chaperone, but even back then her parents never worried over her as much as they probably should have. Her adventures put her in another world of her own making, where she was the sole inhabitant of a lush forest and she could spend her time playing in the nearby water sipping at nectar the flowers provided. She had been so illusioned at that age. Tera saw a young man walk up behind the younger version of herself, light hair, dressed in an odd assortment of armor. The scene shifted to her perspective as a child, and the face revealed to her moved Tera to bring a hand over her mouth in silent astonishment. She _knew_ him, or at least had always believed she did. He was tired and yet curious with a heavy scent of anxiety on his frame.

_"Pardon little one, may I ask what it is you are doing here by yourself?"_

The tiny version of Tera stared back at the stranger, somewhat bemused and excited, but nothing akin of fear. _"Why are you dressed so funny? Oh! Do you want to play with me? You can be one of my loyal guards since you look kind of like one."_

The stranger smiled warmly and patted her on the head in a way that was familiar with children of her age, even though now that Tera looked on him with mature eyes this young man seemed only to be in his early teenage years, and there the smaller version of herself was at seven. _"I think I would make a much better attendant to you than a guard of any sort."_

And with little care about his polite refusal to be a guard, little Tera was far too overjoyed to have a new playmate to worry about anything or anyone save for him and their little game of make believe. She presumed hours had passed like that, or she would have liked to remember them as hours, for Tera was soon brought another set of continuing images, these with a more lasting impression.

Her younger version had gone a few yards away from the boy, toward the overhanging vines to collect more flowers for her pretend potions. A lone butterfly flitted before her and the little girl gave chase, attempting to persuade the small creature to land somewhere on her so she could receive a butterfly's kiss. Of course the butterfly was far more adept at evading such advances than the small Tera was at making them, and soon enough it was out of her reach. Possibly for the best as she soon stood with wide eyes as a massive jaw overtook the colorful insect, enclosing it between its teeth. The large predator cast his eyes upon her, sharpening at the distinct scent of fear.

The large creature hadn't attacked her in an instant as she had always expected of large predators, but it made it's way toward her just the same. Despite its large size and obvious assortment of daggered teeth, as a young girl, Tera took the most notice of the lack of a charge against her. That and that alone was what she had always believed saved her. At that age, what was there to fear if there was a supposed enemy not outright advancing in any vicious manner? She watched the scene play out, in part quite disgusted with her young self for being so foolish, but it was a child's innocent that couldn't be revoked. That and the fact that she had always been forbidden from watching scary monster movies to begin with. Reaching her, the animal divulged a stream of air down at her in an attempt to identify the little mortal before its claws.

_"Up."_

A child's gaze shifted upward, up into those captivating eyes, directly past the thought of rows of enamel waiting for a meal, and at once the jaws parted, releasing the singular butterfly she had been so intent on catching. Little Tera had squealed with delight, bringing her hands together in laughter. The insect perched itself on her small fingertips, and she had believed it had alighted along a kiss to her before it flickered away to a safer patch of flowers.

Watching her past from this point of view, Tera guessed with a sick fear that her own delighted squeal was what had brought the young man back to her company, sword unfortunately at the ready. The creature responded immediately, stiffening and baring its teeth to the apparent newcomer. The past vision of herself had turned about in surprise, catching sight of the weapon, and taking calm note of the anxiety and fear in her playmate's eyes. The breath behind her swathed over the tiny frame, and little Tera urgently cried out a lost, _"No!"_

…

That was enough; Tera could clearly remember the rest of that day without the dragon's help. He released her, though he hadn't wanted to, he thought she should see the rest. She wrenched herself back to the present, clouded over still with rain. The young man and the dragon had fought, the dragon edging him closer to the water, the boy clearly only able to barely defend himself against the attacks. The something beyond belief had happened, though it was clear Tera had labeled it all beyond belief from the beginning of that day; a light engulfed the water, the boy, and the dragon and she had only barely remembered a splay of feathers before a splash echoed and the both of them were gone. She stood there shivering from the cold, or from the memory being real, after all, everyone had told her repeatedly that she was crazy to claim anything of the sorts of dragons, angels, and magical portals ever existed. The wet feather around her wrist tied everything together; she'd gone and collected it while staring with tears in her eyes at the calm surface of the lake.

"What's your point? You're just a memory, now if you will, leave me alone." Still, Tera found herself walking toward the bank rather than back the way she'd come.

_"Needed. War has befallen our kind."_ He followed after Tera easily, and was with her again in less than a few footsteps.

"No idea what you're talking about. Besides, shouldn't I be questioning my sanity talking to a dragon of all things? For goodness sake." She stuck her tongue out at the creature, somehow knowing she wouldn't be reprimanded for doing so, if he did exist anyway.

The dragon's tail nudged her back, incidentally shoving her into the water, not that her shoes weren't soaked through as it were. _"Your Tailmark. Your duty. Go."_

Tera raised an eyebrow, since when did humans have any sort of tails? She looked behind all the same, and then realization dawned on her. "Oh, that? It's not real, well it is real, but I wasn't born with it." She shook her head, finding amusement that some fantastical creature thought her tattoo was something she'd been gifted with from birth. And what was he going on about duty for? If anything her only duty was to get home before she caught some horrendous cold that coach would split her for a hundred fold after she got better. "Yeah, I'll go alright." Tera made it a point to pivot her steps in the mud and walk back toward her car, something dry would be nice right about now.

Something wrapped around her waist and settled there firmly, and the next thing she knew Tera was being dragged greatly against her will into the water, through it, and finally, tail before head under the dark space. Tera couldn't tell where they were, all she knew was that they were moving rapidly through the cold water. Maybe he was just going to the other side of the lake, sure, that had to be it. Still, Tera was sure they should've already reached it at this point, and then she felt gravity pull on her. How could they possibly be going deeper? She didn't care anymore, she couldn't breathe, and right then, that's all Tera wanted. She would have screamed if water hadn't been surrounding her. Still, she did what she could, and all the negativity of being kept under water with a scaled tail wrapped around her torso came to a quick peak and she suddenly felt the tangible relief of their absence.

Tera found herself spluttering on a dark shore with forest surrounding every end of the water, except the scenery was far different from what she remembered in the park. Maybe she was just a bit too waterlogged and couldn't recall things correctly. Pulling herself to the bank Tera looked around for the dragon and panic struck her, what if she'd hallucinated the entire thing and somehow almost drowned from believing everything her mind put in front of her? Tera's attention was pulled away from those thoughts for a moment by raucous laughter a few meters away when her eyes caught the sight of a few fires. Camp fires in the park? Despite that fact maybe they'd be nice enough to offer up some information so she could get her facts straightened out before heading home and deciding if she should stay in bed for the rest of the week. Standing, Tera took to squeezing out her drenched clothes before she headed over in the lit direction. She passed by a few trees, still relatively out in the open, when a young man confronted her dressed in unusal armor. Tera had to restrain herself from rolling her eyes; maybe a troupe of gypsies or some renaissance festival was always on the other side of the park. He drew a sword and commanded her to halt.

"Are you some spy? Who do you work for? Speak up now!"

Needless to say Tera was slightly bemused as to the fact that a rather random person wearing armor actually thought to threaten her with a sword and silly questions. "Geez, you don't need to be so pushy. No I'm not a spy, it's not like we're living in the era of the Cold War."

Apparently that was the wrong answer to give, and the mention of war automatically set the guard, as she presumed, on high alert as he called for his comrades and soon after took a swing at her himself. Even in the night, there was enough light from the moon and stars to accommodate her awkward dodge of the attack. Wait, where had the cloud cover gone? Looking up wouldn't have done Tera any good, and from the looks of things, the guard's buddies were already heavily upon the two of them, dressed much the same. The only place she had to go was the water, and Tera, waterlogged as she was, decided she'd much rather fare with a natural element than a man-made one.

The unfamiliar soldier kept drawing near with his arm outstretched, sword in hand. Since when did people resort to using swords as weapons? Tera was educated enough to know that style of warfare had died out long ago, now it was only used for ceremonial purposes, unless one counted it as a type of sport. Either way, the man in front of her didn't strike her as the type to accommodate any other thought other than setting that lovely blade of his directly through her middle. The bottom of the lake, she had determined it as a lake rather than a pond seeing as it had remarkably tripled in size since Tera had been dragged underwater, was giving way to her weight, the mud shifting under her shoes. If the soldier kept coming Tera would have no other choice than to tread water or swim to an opposing shore. The amount of energy at her command wouldn't allow her to perform the latter task.

By this time, other soldiers from the camp nearby had found their way to the shoreline. From what she could tell they all looked apprehensive. Tera sighed to herself, they probably all thought she was a spy with the way the soldier in front of her had carried on. Perfect. Here she was completely turned around in her geography and accused of spying on people she didn't even know in the first place.

"State your allegiances woman. We will not be hunted from the shadows!"

"My allegiances?" She was supposed to have allegiances? Tera contorted her face in confusion as well as thought, would these people have any idea what a swim team was? Probably not by the looks of them. "Um, I don't have any. And I'm not hunting you." Best to give them some kind of backup information lest they question as to why she randomly spouted from the water on their small claim of land. "I was actually just out for a swim... and wanted to see how far I could go while holding my breath  
underwater."

The look he was giving her was suspicious in nature, even more so when he didn't lower his weapon a fraction of an inch. "Liar! We have patrols over the entire perimeter of this lake!" What were these people, some sort of collective personality? Always the 'we' and 'us'. Tera briefly wondered if all soldiers were like that, but the term "liar" came to the forefront of her mind when it was spoken from the stranger. So he caught that part of her lie, but what was she to say? No one would believe the alternative. How many times does 'Oh, I was dragged underwater by a monster and then suddenly found myself not in the park but somewhere else entirely with a sword ready to disembowel me,' come up in conversation? Yes, Tera saw that as highly plausible, so much so she didn't see why it wasn't a well-known pickup line. Bloody hell, this wasn't turning out to be her day in the least.

As Tera's mind was busy amusing itself with thought after thought regarding her current situation, a voice other than her own decided to enter upon her mind somewhat questioningly, "_You think me a monster? Cruel of you._" The water encircling her lightened, becoming as clear as she imagined the sky to be like on the brightest spring day. Steam began rising to the surface of the lake, drifting off in a way reflecting a haunted swamp with restless spirits pawing at all solid objects above the waters. Tera caught the expression of the soldier in front of her before he all but disappeared from view, it was one of fear.

"_Come._" Tera followed the command, unsure of how she knew to turn at the precise moment the beast erupted from the water, apparently having just quenched a retreating inner flame. She reached for the sinuous neckline and ridge just above the shoulders, pulling herself astride the creature. As they rose into the air, the steam sifted away from the heavy force of his wings, revealing the frantic retreat to the woods of the soldiers on shore. Tera's attention was drawn to a few men rushing about to what seemed to be heavily camouflaged machinery, though she highly doubted them to be hidden artillery. Tera shrugged, deciding it best to turn her attention to the road ahead of her; or to put it more simply, the sky ahead of her.

"Eirhan, are you taking me home now?" Tera didn't mean to be rude, but she felt like she'd had enough of this little adventure for one evening, especially being as fatigued as she was.

"_Memory has survived._"

"What? My memory?" Tera didn't have any idea what he was talking about. If it was on the subject of his name, then he must have surely been mistaken. "That just seemed to fit you." Tera could only guess the grumbling she heard in immediate response was laughter, unless Eirhan was hungry. That idea made her own stomach turn.

"_You thought as much as an infant. But if you do not believe, how is it you speak my Gaean name?"_

There was no possible comparison for how turned around and confused Tera felt at that moment. She hadn't seen Eirhan when she was that young. And what was Gaean supposed to mean? What was that term?

"_Time, time_."  
…

"Commander! Commander! Did you see?" Sorin couldn't contain himself, as he was sure the rest of the scouting company couldn't either. He'd had watch duty that night, and he'd caught a rare break, or so he had thought at the time. That spy would have been an easy capture had she not been rescued by that flying horror before one of the melefs could be sent out to forcibly retrieve her. "That woman's in league with The Dragon. The lords will want to hear of this!"

The commanding officer had remained behind at the camp when most of those under his command had galloped to Sorin's side when the lad had yelled for assistance. Of course, upon seeing the lake alight and steam, the commander had already sent a messenger to inform both Lord Dilandau and Lord Folken, as well as a few others to report to the generals of theallied armies.


End file.
